Something that is hard for me to come to terms with is that our summer season is starting to come to a close. I’ve noticed it more with our shorter evenings and milder temperatures. We may still have a few hot and humid days left, but our long dog days of summer are dwindling down.
With the cooler evenings, our family fire pit or fireplace becomes more of an attraction. Teaching our kids about fire safety is paramount, as there are quite a few rules about having the firepit as well as a good education of what fire needs and what happens in order to get it going.
My kids can now give a quick crash course on what is needed to start the fire. Basic science class tells us that we need three elements: fuel, oxygen, and of course a spark.
I often think of love like a fire. Fire has the ability to keep us warm, to cook a good meal and it can lift our spirits on a cool evening. But it also has the ability to rage out of control and if left unattended can either burn the house down or simply fizzle out.
As a therapist, I’m often using this imagery to explain what happens in a relationship. For many of my couples, the fire has just been left unattended and things have fizzled out. There’s a lack of fuel, so the fire just isn’t as warm as it used to be. Other instances, the environment just isn’t the greatest anymore. It’s like two ships passing through a channel as we tag team parental duties and the demands of both of our careers. And in some instances, there’s quite a bit of fuel, but it’s not a great time to have a spark, so when it does happen, the fire burns out of control and because of the environment, the fire just gets out of hand.
Ah, there are so many other ways we can use this imagery, but those are just a few.
So, when things have burned out of control (or not at all) is there anything we can do?
Of course, but we need to take a good look at those three elements to see how things have gone south, what can be done about it now and what we can do in both the near and distant future so we can keep the fire going for the appropriate times.
For any more tips with fire, I’m likely the last person to help in that regard. I suggest calling a WETT certified technician. But for any tips or skills in your relationship, feel free to give me a shout. I’m only a phone call or email away.
Until Next Time,
Comments