As I sit with clients during the intake session, I often ask these two questions in order to paint a good picture of their present situation. I don't know how many times in the past I've sat with somebody who has been through the worst of times, hoping to find a better life but feeling "stuck" with where they are.
Here is some sage advice: "in order to know where you are going, you need to understand where you have come from and what you are going to do about it".
I remember the first time that I sat with a therapist. I was struggling with seasonal depression and I had no idea how to deal with it. All that I knew was that I just wanted to feel better. A doctor had prescribed some medication which I chose not to take while a psychiatrist suggested light therapy. I tried the "happy light" for a few weeks and I was still feeling blue. I then emailed a therapist and set up an appointment. The result was that he didn't necessarily find a magic fix for me; but he did help me sort out some issues in my past which gave way to me letting go of trying to control my present situation. In our sessions, we spoke of my past formative relationships. We dreamed of what the future could look like.
And then we focused on the "here and now"; of how to not only survive my present day, but finding short term goals which would help me feel alive in my present moment.
It took a few sessions of therapy, but as time passed, my "dark dreary blue" began to lighten to more of a sky blue. Yes, there were days when life was difficult; but there were also days in which I was able to see the brighter side of life and was able to let a few things go. If you are feeling "stuck" today, I encourage you to reach out. Find a good friend to confide in or maybe adopt a dog who you can have an existential conversation with. And if you feel the need, give me a call and we can set up an appointment to help you figure out how you got stuck, to imagine where you would like to be and what you can start doing today, so you can get out of the mud and back on the road.
Until next time,